


i'll be there when water's rising

by demonicneonfishy



Series: february angst-fest (febuwhump 2021) [26]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/F, Good Quynh | Noriko, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Nightmares, POV Quynh | Noriko, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Quynh | Noriko Needs a Hug, and all that, in this house quynh is not evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29719926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicneonfishy/pseuds/demonicneonfishy
Summary: After she returns to her family, Quýnh learns very quickly what she can and can’t do.One: she cannot eat anything with too much salt.Two: she avoids water whenever she can.Three: she cannot be in the dark for long.But she learns, and she heals. Some days are better than others.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Series: february angst-fest (febuwhump 2021) [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141784
Comments: 3
Kudos: 48





	i'll be there when water's rising

**Author's Note:**

> day 26 of febuwhump 2021  
> prompt: recovery  
> (title from dying breed, the killers)

After she returns to her family, Quýnh learns very quickly what she can and can’t do.

One: she cannot eat anything with too much salt. They’d learned that the hard way, when she’d taken one bite and choked on it, on the memory of saltwater around her, filling her lungs-

She’d run from the room and only just made it to the bathroom in time to throw up into the toilet. After that, Nicky had been more careful with the salt, sometimes making her something separate. She hadn’t wanted him to go out of his way, but he’d just smiled and told her it was no problem.

Two: she avoids water whenever she can. She prefers to drink juice, the stronger the flavour the better, and even then only in very small sips. She’s managed water on occasion, but if she takes too large a sip she can’t help feeling overwhelmed, like she’s drowning again. The juice helps a little - the flavour helps to remind her that she’s not at the bottom of the ocean - but drinking again takes time to adjust to.

Three: she cannot be in the dark for long. Anything over a minute and she starts to struggle to breathe, overcome by the phantom sensation of water surrounding her. The darkness at the bottom of the ocean is all-consuming. When you are deep enough, there is no light left. Nile had bought her strings of fairy lights, and they’d spent hours putting them up in her and Andy’s room. It had been the first time Quýnh truly felt at home after returning to them.

(The first time she reaches the surface, the light burns her eyes. She spends the first few weeks trying to get used to light again.)

But she learns, and she heals. Some days are better than others. Some days she almost feels like a person again.

Other days, she hears Joe make a joke she doesn’t understand, and hears Andy laugh, and all of a sudden feels out of place. She tries her best to navigate this new reality, and yet she cannot help feeling like she does not know where she fits in anymore. As if her family has grown to fill the hole she had left behind, and now she has to try and find her way back.

But these days become less and less frequent with every new inside joke she and Nile create, both of them being the ones who have to learn how they fit in; every memory she laughs at with Joe and Nicky, some of them good, some of them embarrassing; every quiet smile Andy gives her when nobody else is looking, every whispered word as she passes Quýnh in the hallway. She does not fall back into her exact place within their family, but she does not need to: she creates a new space for herself, different, the same way she is.

And yet, the shadow of the water still follows her, threatening to pull her back down into the dark. Even on her best days, the days when it almost feels like she’s healed. Especially at night, even though she has the fairy lights now.

Tonight is one of those nights.

* * *

Quýnh screams herself awake. The darkness is everywhere, and she can’t quite get enough air into her lungs - she’s drowning, drowning, drowning. She won’t get out this time.

She screams and screams and screams, thrashing against the covers, needing to  _ move, _ she needs to be  _ free, _ she needs to-

The fairy lights snap on and Andy wraps her arms around Quýnh, holding her tight with her back against Andy’s chest until she’s screamed herself hoarse, until she’s taking desperate, gasping breaths that aren’t enough.

Andy begins to rock them back and forth, ever so slightly, humming a tune Quýnh hasn’t heard in centuries. She doesn’t let go. And when Quýnh lets out a strangled cry, Andy just tightens her hold and laces their fingers together, one arm around Quýnh’s waist, the other across her chest, holding her together as she falls apart.

“Breathe,” Andy says softly into her ear. “I have you, my heart. You’re safe.”

“I can’t,” Quýnh gasps out. “I can’t-”

“Can you feel my breathing?”

She closes her eyes and nods, trying to focus on the rise and fall of Andy’s chest against her back.

“Breathe with me.” Andy inhales slowly, deliberately exaggerating the movement, and Quýnh tries to match the rhythm, following as she exhales. “Good. Just like that.”

They stay like that for however long it takes for Quýnh to be able to breathe properly again. Whether it’s minutes or hours, she doesn’t know.

“Back with me?” Andy asks.

Quýnh nods. “I’m sorry.”

Andy presses a kiss to the back of her neck. “What for?”

“You must be tired of waking up to… this. We could sleep in separate rooms until I get better, or…”

“Look at me,” Andy says, letting go of her. Quýnh turns around so they’re sitting facing each other, both of them cross legged, their knees just touching. Andy reaches up to brush a strand of hair from Quýnh’s face and tuck it behind her ear. “I’m not going to leave you to deal with this alone.”

“Just you and me,” Quýnh says, managing a small smile, and Andy smiles back.

“Until the end.”

**Author's Note:**

> i just think quynh deserves a break and/or multiple hugs  
> -  
> i'm demonicneonfishy on tumblr too if you wanna come say hi!! (or yell at me for the angst)


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